…then feel free to use the one below, provided by the unquenchable Kristof. Just replace his name with yours.

I, Kristof E, henceforth to be referred to as the Picturee, hereby
solemnly declare that Lori Linstruth, henceforth to be referred to as
Her Majesty - The Queen of Metal, is to be permitted to use the pictures
and texts as contained in this e-mail to be used solely for the purpose
of a yet to be unveiled online project. Her Majesty - The Queen of Metal
is free to use the material depicting the Picturee so long as the
material is not used in any demeaning way including but not limited to
racism, pornography (unless lesbian and Picturee gets a meet and greet),
religious way. Picturee reserves the right to reclaim this right at any
given time followin which Her Majesty - The Queen of Metal agrees to
comply and remove all links on all sites she has control over to any
extent within a time period of 24 hours or any other period that Picturee
and Her Majesty - The Queen of Metal deem fair at beforementioned time.
Her Majesty - The Queen of Metal has the right to use words such as
“divine”, “prowess” and “extremely good-looking” in conjunction with
digital photographic material as outlined in the beginning of this
agreement. All the previous in this agreement is void and null if this
sentence is followed by a period.

Wanna charm me? Referring to me as the Queen of Metal is a good way to do it

Lori here. Welcome to the “Me and My Strat” website.

Do you want to tell the world about yourself and your strat? It’s easy!

Just send an email with a photo of yourself with your guitar (any strat-style body is fine, it doesn’t have to be a Fender) to strats AT feminoise DOT com.

In your email, you should:

1) Attach the photo(s) that you want to use OR send the links where I can download them.

2) Write the text that you would like included in your entry. Not sure what to say? Here are some ideas:

• Tell us what you love about your strat
• Tell how how you found your strat
• Tell us any special stories related to your strat
• Tell us about any special modifications you’ve made to your strat
• Tell us any problems you are having with your strat (we have some very clever readers who might be able to help you!).

3) Send any website links that you want added to your entry (max 2).

4) Tell me how you want me to credit you in your entry. For example:
“Please credit me like this: Joe Schmo, Los Angeles.”

If you forget this step, I’ll just use first names and countries (if known).

5) Tell me if you recorded a voice mail audio message to go with your entry (see below), so that I can make sure to include it.

6) Check that you’ve done all of these things before you click “send.”

I will email a confirmation as soon as I’ve seen your submission in my email inbox.

Record an audio message to go with your entry

If you want to record an audio message to go along with your entry, then you have two options:

Phone the Me and My Strat voice mail at (+1) 206 888 4666 (based in Seattle, Washington, USA - your normal long-distance rates apply) and record your message (up to 5 minutes long).

If you have a mic hooked up to your computer, you can record a message using MyChingo. If you get a dialog asking for permission to access your mic, click “yes” or it won’t work.

Boring legal stuff

Note that by submitting your photos, texts, and audio recordings to Me and My Strat, you are giving me, Lori Linstruth, your permission to do whatever I want with them without having to ask you or pay you anything. That, in a nutshell, is what the legal agreement below says:

Legal agreement

By submitting information to Me and My Strat, you grant Me and My Strat a perpetual, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, modify, publish, distribute, and otherwise exercise all copyright and publicity rights with respect to that information at its sole discretion, including storing it on Me and My Strat’s servers and incorporating it in other works in any media now known or later developed including without limitation published books.

If you do not wish to grant Me and My Strat these rights, then do not submit information to this website. Me and My Strat reserves the right to select, edit and arrange submissions, and to remove information from the Me and My Strat website at any time at its sole discretion.